If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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