Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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