it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
