I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
