THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
