So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
