you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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