If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He better not be in your backpack
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
