he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
