Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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