im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
