if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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