Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
