Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I don't think brook has ever known best
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
