I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
