He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
It's blow job season.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
