I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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