Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
you traded sex for a burrito?
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
