So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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