Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
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