i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
