Pappa wants mamma naked
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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