in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
