'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
