i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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