We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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