I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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