i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
