i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
