just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Randomize
