This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
