Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
