Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
