He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
