and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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