that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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