am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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