we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
