i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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