if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
