im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
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