How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
