Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Sorry about my life...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
