After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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