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• (408): View more from California

  I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night

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• (619): View more from California

  When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.

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• (978): View more from Massachusetts

  im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages

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• (914): View more from New York

  Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.

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• (702): View more from Nevada

  Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night

  (302): View more from Delaware

  which are?

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  library sex.

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.

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• (661): View more from California

  just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me

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