I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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