One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize