Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
FUCK WHALES
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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