Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Randomize
