first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
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