i already hear my dad disowning me
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
