First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
