You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
