True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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