I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
