ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
