Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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