like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
