just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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