Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
