Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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