OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize