Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.