Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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