One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
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Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
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Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left