No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.